Monday, December 23, 2013


       So this fashion post is very near and dear to my heart! The shirt I am wearing is a shirt my sister Christine gave to me from her college at BYU Provo. Their was a list of things these girls had to do to earn these shirts! Such as, wearing their hair natural, not wearing make up for a day, and doing yoga. All of these things were to show where true beauty comes from, and that is the inside of course!
     When I received this shirt I immediately wanted to wear it the next day! Then I began to sheepishly think what others would think of me! That girl thinks she is beautiful, how dare she! What a conceited snob! But guess what I wore my shirt the next day because guess what? I do think I am beautiful! Let me tell you why, exactly one year ago to this month I encountered a deep darkness known as postpartum depression. This came to me exactly one month after having my beautiful daughter Kensington. I felt completely broken. Gloom had taken over my life completely. Each day I would wake up just wanting to go back to bed again. After four months I finally got the help that was necessary for me to recover. It wasn't instantaneous, but over time I began to feel like myself again. I can say after one year of giving each day every bit of strength and courage I had I battled this depression.  My husband is and was still in school the whole year and as much as he and I would have loved for him to help me, he just couldn't be there to watch the kids and hold my hand all the time. Even though my husband is Superman in my eyes and had helped me on this journey tremendously he had responsibilities of his own! Everyday with the Lord on my side I fought. I NEVER gave up even though I wanted to soo many times!
      So this my friends is why I believe I am beautiful! My flaws and trials have molded me, they have given me strength and in turn,I believe, made me beautiful! We all have trials, we all have flaws. These things help us to grow and make us beautiful! This trial has given me compassion for others! Something I am ashamed to say I didn't have much of before. I would judge a person based on there exterior. I believed depressed people chose to be that way. "You can choose to be happy"! Is what I would say. This may be the reason this trial came to me. Now when I look at others I see beauty. I don't judge them based of their clothes or their flaws, because guess what that person is fighting a battle that we have know idea about. That person even if may seem perfect on the outside may or may not be struggling.
      Why as women must we always have to point out our flaws to one another to build each other up! A scene comes to mind from the movie Mean Girls. All of the so called "Mean Girls" are sitting in Regina George's room going around one by one each girl pointing out something that they didn't like about themselves. By the time they got to Cady Herran she had nothing to say. She had to think for a moment and then said, "I sometimes have really bad breath in the morning." Haha! I love that she was so secure with herself she had to think of something so silly as having bad breath. I used to be that kind of girl, the mean girl type. I would point out and complain to my friends about how badly I didn't want to have curves or frizzy hair. I would idolize the Victoria Secret model types of the world and try to make myself look like them. Well guess what? I have curves! I have a big bottom, which my husband so happens to think is attractive! I am not putting down the Victoria's Secret models of the world because I do think they are beautiful! They may be the nicest people in the world and who are we to judge them or put them down because they are skinny!
     So I know this post has been novel sized but if you get anything out of it I hope it is this, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! In fact  I want you to tell yourself that everyday! My mom growing up made me feel like  the most beautiful girl in the world. Because of this I think I was able to have high confidence on how I looked for the most part. Not until I went through my postpartum depression did I realize that my inner strength is beautiful. I realized that I am a fighter and that is beautiful! I have two beautiful daughters that have morphed my body and given me stretch marks, to me that is beautiful! It means I have done something so divine as creating human life! So think about your life, your trials, and your flaws. What about those things make you beautiful, unique, and different? Don't be a Mean Girl in a world full of so many Regina George's! Be someone that lifts others up, and because of you makes others light shine from within brighter. In turn making their beauty radiate more than it did before you met them! Anyways, in closing I truly do believe each person in this world is beautiful! After all there is only one of you on this entire planet! My jean jeggings are from Ross, earing's from Nordstrom, black leather jacket from Target, and grey shoes by Converse.


  1. Such a great and heartfelt post! I think so so many need to be reminded of what real beauty is.

    xo Adri

  2. Thank you Adri! That means a lot! I also have enjoyed reading your blog!:)

  3. Love this post. I agree with you, we all are unique.